I feel like the chances of me actually TRULEY loving again are slim to none….i feel as though i will be forever lost..no hope

You will ALWAYS have that spot in my heart….not matter what decisions you make i will always love you, i will always be here for you no matter what. in your time of need ill be there. i did what my conscience told me to do even though my heart was telling me differently. i couldn’t take the arguing anymore. ill always miss your company because there is no possible way to replace you. the relationship was just far to emotional than it should’ve been and thats the last thing i need right now. i had to eject myself from the emotional roller coaster. I did what i thought had to be done. there are allot of things that i have changed about myself because it was your wish. People never change to accommodate the other in the relationship. relationships do not work that way no matter how much i wish it were true. minor flaws in relationship should never be blown up to a huge ordeal and end up severely hurting the other party. I know you didn’t realize what you were doing but thats what made me know that you’d never change. All i ever wanted was for you to put out just as much compassion as i always did for you. to appreciate everything that ive ever done for you. in return you never bragged about me TO ME. you hardly ever complimented me in hopes that i wouldnt feel good enough about myself. your thinking was to keep my self esteem low so that i didnt run away from you. in return it back fired. im sorry i didnt give you enough time to prove yourself but a relationship should never be put on parole, you should have been smart enough to do all the relationship givens(compliments, romantic acts, sweetness etc) from the beginning……i could only now ask for your friendship though, ill always be your protector, and ill always be your shelter in the rain, ill never turn my back on you. I  LOVE YOU ERIN ST. JOHN FOR ALWAYS….im sorry for withdrawing myself from the relationship…i felt like i was your clay and you wanted to mold every cell of me, i know you only meant well but it ended up crushing me…….im going to give you some time and after a while ill attempt to contact you in hopes you will atleast hold a conversation with me without arguing. ill only ever ask for your friendship because no matter what id rather be in your life as a friend than nothing at all. i love you erin…ill always be here for you no matter what…..and im sorry for all the grammar/punctuation errors there might be …i uploaded this without proof reading because id rather it be in its raw form.

Always and forever….Merry Christmas Erin St. John

hurts when you tell me you think that

PLEASE LET US HAVE ONE NIGHT WHERE WE DONT ACT LIKE WE HATE EACH OTHER AND FALL ASLEEP LAUGHING AT ONE ANOTHER….EVERY NIGHT ITS SOMETHING ELSE

Amen